Imaginary Knights Dimsdale
a decidedly odd Ranma 1/2 tale
by M A Davis / Miko


        Once upon a time in a land far, far away there was a magical kingdom called Dimsdale.
        No, really, that was its name.
        This kingdom was ruled by a young king who, despite his youth, ruled with wisdom and benevolence. He was advised by the druidic council of elders who dwelled half a day's ride North of Castle Dimsdale in the druidic college of Cair Ashenglade. Together, the young king and the elder druids taught their people how to live in harmony with the natural world. Once a year the king ventured deep into the Myrmidden forest to meet with the Goddess of nature and pray for her continued blessings on his kingdom and his people.
        The rest of the year, he chased all the other women in his kingdom.
        Soon the people of Dimsdale grew weary of the antics of their hentai ruler. And so, when the news came to Cair Ashenglade that the king's older brother had usurped the throne, not all were surprised or dismayed. But the king had ruled by the will of the Goddess; she alone chose the rulers of the land. What would befall the land of Dimsdale if another ruled the throne?
        More importantly, when the kingdom was threatened, the king had the power to summon to his side champions from another world -- the legendary Imaginary Dimsdale Knights.
        And if he should do so, almost anything might happen.

Prologue

***

Castle Dimsdale

        The sound of hooves on stone echoed through the castle courtyard. A light wind scattered autumn leaves across the cobblestones, and the crowd of people drew back, giving a wide bearth to two horses bearing two hooded riders. They wore thick wool cloaks that bore the runes and knotwork of the Cair Ashenglade druids stitched along the borders. This was enough to stop anyone in their tracks on any given day, let alone one in which the fate of the kingdom was on everyone's mind.
        The two horses cantered up to the wide steps of the king's hall, then stopped with a clatter. The two riders dismounted and strode up stairs with slow, purposeful steps.
        Two guards barred the way. "Halt! Who goes there!" one bellowed.
        The first druid, the taller of the two, leaned forward and peered closely at the two guards.
        "Jemary Gentlecove isn't it? And Div Hartwood. My, you two are in the Royal Guard now? How wonderful for the both of you!"
        "Silence, stranger!" the first barked. "State your name and your business!"
        "You know who I am, Jemery, and why I have come. Surely you haven't forgotten the four years you spent at the druidic academy?"
        "Your name...."
        "I was your headmaster...."
        "...and your business!"
        "I taught you personally...."
        "Now!"
        The old druid sighed.
        "Brennos Stoutoak, High Priest of Dimsdale, and," he indicated his shorter companion, "Shaelyn Trueblood, Princess of Dimsdale, to see the king."
        "The king sees no one!"
        "Jemary, I am High Priest of the land. The king will see me."
        "The king sees no one!"
        "Let's not make this difficult, Jemary."
        "The king specifically does not see any druids from Cair Ashenglade! He so instructed us himself!"
        The tall druid sighed. "I didn't really want to do this," he said, "but you leave me no choice." He waved his hands before the two guards and said, "These are not the druids you're looking for."
        "These are not the druids we're looking for," Guard Jemary repeated.
        "We may pass to see the king."
        "You may pass to see the king."
        Brennos nodded to the two as they stepped aside. "As you were then, gentlemen...."

***

Later, Another World

        It was a large village, and the two visitors from Cair Ashenglade, in the kingdom of Dimsdale, wandered its streets for several hours. At first they decided that it must be the capital city of whatever country they were in on this strange world -- but they had yet to see a castle. What they had seen was far stranger than anything they could have imagined -- from the odd garb that the villagers wore, to the noisy, shiny metal carts that moved through the streets all by themselves. There was magic here, but it was a type of magic completely alien to their world.
        On one streetcorner they found what they were looking for -- a small shop completely filled with books. As they wandered down the aisles, pulling down books at random to inspect, the other shoppers glanced at them with undisguised curiosity.
        "Why're they dressed like that?" one old man whispered.
        "Don't know," an old woman replied. "Maybe they're making a movie 'round here?"
        "Could be one of them rennaisance festivals, or something similar," another said.
        "Cosplay," a fourth said. "It's from one of them anime shows, I bet."

        Meanwhile, the two strangers were holding their own conversation.
        "What manner of writing is this, anyway?" Caerau asked. "Why can't we read it?"
        Peht frowned. "I don't know, but it's most infuriating. My language spells work on spoken language only. Who could have known that they would have a different written language as well? We've never needed such a spell -- humans and gnomes use the same writing system, and always have."
        "Then how will we learn anything about this world's heros and legends?"
        "I don't know," Peht said. "I'm working on it."
        Moments later, Peht gave an explanation of delight.
        "My Lord Caerau, over here! Look! These books here tell stories with pictures!"
        The two began paging through the picture-books in earnest.
        "Look," Peht said. "This is what we want. Surely these pictures tell the stories of the legendary heros of this world!"
        Looking over her shoulder, Caerau nodded. "Wow! Look at the knockers on that one!"
        Peht glared at her companion. "Fool! You would do well to keep your mind on the task at hand!"
        "Okay, okay," Caerau said. "But I think you're right. Brennos Stoutoak said we were to look for pictures of the world's greatest heros of legend."
        "I know what Brennos said! This is my mission, not yours!"
        "I am the one to summon the Imaginary Knights," Caerau said hautily. "Now that the gate between our worlds is open, I think I have the right to judge who will be my otherworldly champions! And I am most certain that this one, the sorceress with the esquisitely revealing black outfit, is one of this world's greatest heros."
        Peht studied the book critically.
        "Nooooo," she finally said. "See, look here. This one with the red hair is clearly the main focus of the story. She is also the better sorceress -- see how easily she defeats these brigands with a ball of fire?"
        "Her? But she hardly has any chest at all!"
        Peht slammed the book into the back of Caerau's head.
        "Ow! That hurt!"
        "Idiot! What has that to do with anything?"
        "Jeez, Peht. Ease up on the rough stuff a little! At least, let me get my whips and chains first...."
        "Is your mind always in the gutter? And you call yourself King! It is no wonder the people have rebelled against you! Now, help me find some more examples of this world's heros. We need eight in total, as Brennos said, but since we haven't found our champions yet, I think we should prepare a few extras. Here, this rabbit warrior seems a goodly hero, and this swordsman here, see how he slays that dragon? And this green-haired girl with the horns, who flies and fires lightning from her hands...."
        "Oh yes!" Caerau said. "We definitely need her!"
        Twenty minutes later Caerau was looking out the window when a young girl came flying down the street. With a single leap she landed on the roof of the far building and then bounded from rooftop to rooftop into the distance. Moments after that, a boy flew by, also leaping easily to the rooftops and bouncing away.
        Cauerau blinked in surprise.
        "I think I have everything we need," Peht said. "Next, we'll need to find eight champions. Most likely they will be young and atheletic."
        "I, um, don't think that will be a problem," Caerau said.
        He glanced back over her shoulder. The proprietor of the shop was watching them suspiciously. "Peht, how will we pay for these books? We have no money. We don't even know what the currency on this world looks like."
        Peht began shoving books into her bag. "We're not paying for them, of course," she said. "Now, when I say go, start running...."

***

Earlier, Castle Dimsdale

        The two druids continued on into the inner hallway, where the nobles, clerics, and officials of the land were gathered to conduct business with the King. The room fell as silent as a funeral at the appearance of the two hooded visitors, but then, like the soft murmur of a breeze among the trees, whispers and hushed voices drifted through the crowd.
        The two figures strode through the center of the crowd and up to the steps of the diaz. They bowed to the King on his throne, and removed their hoods. The taller of the two had a proud, weathered face with a long nose that hooked like the beak of an eagle, and sharp eagle's eyes that took in everything about him. He had short, thick grey hair and a close-cropped beard of grey-white. The smaller of the two was a young girl of less than twenty years, with warm brown eyes, a narrow face, a delicate chin and raven-black hair that hung to her shoulders.
        The King was a tall, thin man with a sharp face, like that of a rat, and dark, nervous eyes, framed by short black hair and a goatee. He remained seated upon his throne, but inclined his head in their direction. "Brennos Stoutoak," he said, "High Druid of Dimsdale and Head of the Druidic Council at Cair Ashenglade, and Shaelyn Trueblood, Princess of Dimsdale. Hadden Trueblood, King of Dimsdale, bids you welcome."
        The old man raised an eyebrow. "King Hadden Trueblood?"
        The King smiled, stroking his chin. "It has a nice ring to it, does it not?"
        The High Druid raised his chin almost defiantly. "Caerau Trueblood is the King of this land," he said.
        "Was, Father Stoutoak. Was. As you can see, I have usurped the throne."
        Brennos Stoutoak narrowed his eyes. "Yes, that much is clear. And what have you done to Caerau?"
        "Do not fear, Holy Father, I have not slain my perverted little brother. You know as well as I what that would entail."
        The old man nodded. "The Imaginary Knights would be summoned from another world, to set the kingdom and the land aright. So say the prophecies."
        "Indeed, and while I cannot be certain that the prophecies speak the truth, I am not foolish enough to ignore them. I have a lot of things to do, and no need of heros swooping in to muck things up."
         "But King, is it not also true that your brother may summon the knights at any time? Is it not, in fact, inevitable that the knights eventually be summoned?"

***

Later, Another World

        "Is it safe yet?" Caerau asked.
        The two envoys from Dimsdale were crouching in an alleyway. Peht had disguised their location with a simple illusion spell. There had been much yelling and running about by the local merchants and village guards, but things seemed to have calmed down.
        "I think so," she said.
        In the meantime, Peht had been busy cutting pictures out of the stolen books and preparing each by inscribing runes along the borders.
        "Good, because I'm hungry," Caerau said.
        Peht rolled her eyes. "Now?" she said. "My King, we have our heroic avatar spells prepared, and need only locate suitable champions to summon. Brennos warned us that time may flow differently in this world. We must not delay!"
        "I don't care," Caerau said. "I'm starving, and -- well, it's hard to summon Imaginary Knights properly on an empty stomach."
        Peht ground her teeth.
        "Oh, very well," she said. "That place across the street looks like an eating establishment."
        The two entered a small restaurant and found an empty table. The place was quite crowded. Two pretty waitresses moved among the hungry diners, who were, for the most part, young men. A counter divided the front half of the restaurant from the back. On the counter, serving up orders of some sort of soup in large bowls, was a short, wrinkled woman with long white hair. Behind her, at the back of the kitchen, a boy was washing dishes.
        Caerau stared at the strange old woman. "A gnome? In this world?"
        "She does not appear to be a gnome, exactly," Peht said. "Athough certainly, she is not human. Remember, we do not know what other races might inhabit this world."
        "Ah. Gotcha."
        A waitress skipped over to their table. Her long, purple hair was highly unusual, but otherwise the girl seemed normal enough.
        "What you like?" the girl asked.
        Peht glanced briefly at the bowls in front of the other patrons. There was no telling what sort of food they ate in this strange world, let alone what it might be called. "Two bowls," she said.
        "Noodles? Regular?"
        "Yes, please. And can I ask you, what is the name of this place?"
        "Is Nekohanten," the waitress replied. "Cat Cafe."
        "No," Peht said. "I mean what is the name of this village?"
        "Village?" The girl looked momentarily confused. "Is called Nerima," she finally said, before bouncing off to fill their orders.

***

Earlier, Castle Dimsdale

        "Is it not," Brennos said, "in fact, inevitable that the knights eventually be summoned?"
        Hadden Trueblood, the Usurper King, smiled like a politician who had just been declared victor.
        "All has been taken care of, as you will soon see," Hadden said. "My brother is being held deep in the castle dungeons, in an escape-proof room that he himself designed. The room has been ensorcelled so that no magic may be cast inside of it, and nothing at all may escape it. Not even his prayers to the Goddess can escape, so I have no fear of these Imaginary Knights. So long as my brother remains within his cell, he will never have the ability to summon them."
        The High Druid frowned, considering this news. "And you intend to keep him there forever."
        "Of course."
        "In that case, Shaelyn and I request to be taken to her brother, the former King."
        The King bowed his head. "I cannot refuse such a request from the High Druid, nor from my own sister. However, I must first ask this: does the High Druidic Council of Cair Ashenglade intend to oppose my ascension to the crown? You would be on shaky ground at best -- the council advises the king, but does not interfere with royal ascension. I also have the support of the people, who have long grown weary of my brother's antics."
        The High Druid bowed his head. "The High Council will not oppose you."
        "Very good. And if you are thinking of somehow engineering Caerau's freedom, then you will soon see how foolish such ideas are. As I have said, my brother's cell is escape-proof."
        For a moment, Brennos allowed his gaze to stray from the usurper King to a tall, thin woman standing in the shadows well behind the throne. She was a middle-aged woman with long flowing hair the color of bronze, a round face, and cold, piercing grey eyes. She wore a grey robe, with a cloak bearing a border pattern of druidic runes similar to what Brennos wore.
        "You have planned this very well," Brennos said, glancing back at the new King.
        The smile faded from the King's lips, and Hadden Trueblood matched the High Druid's penetrating stare with a less steady gaze. "This is not a game, old man, or a play for power. I have never desired the throne, but you know as well as I that my brother was leading the kingdom down the path of folly and ruin. What I do, I do as a patriot of my country and at the will of the people. I take no pleasure in it, but I will do it, and I will not be thwarted. The fate of our kingdom, and the fate of the land itself, hangs in the balance this day."

***

Later, Another World

        Two bowls of noodle soup flew through the air. The waitress with the purple hair leaped high, snatching them easily, and set them down in front of Peht and Caerau without spilling so much as a drop. Caerau's eyes revealed his surprise and delight.
        "Wow! That was fantastic!"
        "You seem impressed," the old woman on the counter said.
        "Indeed I am!" Caerau replied. "She's very good, isn't she?"
        The waitress giggled and blushed. "Oh, yes indeed," the old woman said. "Trained as a warrior from birth. My granddaughter is the finest young warrior our tribe has produced in two generations."
        "And the other girl...?" Peht asked. The red-haired waitress seemed equally athletic.
        "Son-In-Law is even better," the old woman said. "Quite possibly the finest warrior I've ever seen. And I can tell you, I've seen a lot of them!"
        The old crone cackled loudly. Peht glanced back at Caerau.
        "The best warriors of a generation," Caerau whispered.
        "Young girls of school age," she said, her voice low. "Brennos told us to expect that. I did not really believe...."
        Peht jumped up. Her arm moved in a blur. A square piece of paper flew at the purple-haired girl's forehead. The waitress deftly slid to one side, but the paper spun about in the air and, despite another attempt to dodge, pasted itself to her forehead.
        A second piece of paper was already sailing across the room at the red-haired waitress. It, too, found it's mark, despite acrobatic attempts to hit it and/or dodge it.
        There were two bright blue flashes, and then both girls collapsed to the floor, unconcious.
        Exclamations of surprise filled the restaurant, and then every other diner made a mad dash for the door. In moments, the restaurant was empty.
        The old woman glared at the two. "What have you done?" she growled. She waved her staff at them meanacingly. "What have you done to them?"
        "Do not be alarmed," Peht said. "We are envoys from the Kingdom of Dimsdale, which exists in another world. We were sent here to summon the legendary champions known as the Imaginary Knights Dimsdale. Our world is in danger, and in need of their help."
        In a flash, the old woman was beside the first girl. She placed a hand on the girl's forehead -- the paper that had stuck there was now gone -- and then she glanced up sharply at Peht and Caerau. In another flash, she was at the second girl's side.
        "Their spirits have left them!" she exclaimed. "What magic is this?"
        "Our spiritual father, Brennos Stoutoak, thought it best if we did not summon the Imaginary Knights in their own bodies, lest they be harmed or even killed while in our world. Instead, only their spirits have been summoned. Our magic has provided them with avatar bodies modelled after the greatest heros of your world."
        "Bring them back!" the old woman growled. "Now!"
        Peht paused. She was well-versed in the druidic magic of the kingdom -- she was the best apprentice Brennos had had in a generation, at least -- and it was precisely that training that warned her now. This woman -- old, wrinkled, impossibly short -- was also a very dangerous opponent.
        "Their spirits will return as soon as they have aided our kingdom..." she began.
        "Shampoo!" a male voice screamed. "If you've hurt her, I'll never forgive you!"
        A long-haired boy in flowing white robes came flying over the counter. Bladed chains of metal shot from his sleeves. Alarmed, Peht grabbed Caerau's arm, muttered a word in the ancient tongue, and shadow-stepped out of the way. Instantly, the two of them were five feet to the left.
        Another paper flew across the room and affixed itself to the boy's forehead. There was another explosive blue flash, and then the boy also fell to the ground, senseless. Wasting no time, Peht again shadow-stepped, this time placing the two of them instantly on the street outside. Once more, and they were in a nearby alleyway. A quick illusion hid them from view.
        "That's three!" Caerau exclaimed. "This is easier than I thought!"
        "Hush!" Peht whispered. "That old woman can't see us but she will hear you babbling! She is a mage of some sort -- not one to be trifled with."

***

Earlier, Castle Dimsdale

        Two cloaked figures walked through a dark, dank passage.
        "He follows the will of the people -- my ass!" Shaelyn muttered. "Did you hear him? I always knew he was a fool, but he really thinks he knows what he's doing -- and that he can somehow oppose you and the council! What an imbecile!"
        "Hush, Shaelyn," Brennos said. "We're here."
        Iron scraped against stone as the doors to the cell were opened. Brennos and Shaelyn strode in and glanced about.
        The room was dimly illuminated by a lone candle, which sat on a small wooden table. Thick walls of stone formed a ten foot by ten foot room without windows. There was a rough wooden bed and a small stool. In one corner was a small privy hole.
        A young man with shoulder-length hair of dark brown was lying on the bed. His eyes lit up as he saw his two visitors, and he leapt up and hugged them both.
        "Brennos! Shaelyn!" he exclaimed. "I'm so glad to see you! I've been locked up in the dark with no one to talk to, and no lovely maidens to look at...." His gaze strayed back to Shaelyn. "It's been horrible...."
        Anger flashed in his sister's eyes. "You perverted fool!" she exclaimed. "I am your sister, by the gods, and covered by this druidic cloak as well! What are you looking at?"
        Caerau tore his gaze away. "Sorry," he said. "You're the first woman I've seen in a week."
        "So," Brennos said, "it has come to this."
        "Yeah," Caerau said. "My foolish brother moves against me at last. Big surprise."
        "So bold a move from one so cowardly," the High Druid said. "I do not think he moves alone in this."
        "If he has aid, elder, then I've no idea what, or from who. The other nobles and officials do not have the will or the intelligence for it. Even the priests are not so bold. If aid he has, then it could only come from within the Council or from without the kingdom."
        "Oh, wake up, Caerau!" Shaelyn growled. "It's obvious that Raina Windfyre is in league with the fool!"
        "Raina? But she would never betray me...."
        Brennos cleared his throat. "If it is Raina, then I will soon know. One of the council cannot move against you and hide the truth from me. But if not, then from without it must be. Perhaps one of the Three Heretics -- mayhap the Mantled One himself, or perhaps they work in concert with Raina. But best to leave those questions to the council of elders. For now, we must do what we must do."
        "Have you come to free me?"
        "Free you? As your brother has said, I can cast no spells here. Within these walls I am nothing but a feeble old man, and your sister nothing but a young girl. How are the two of us to free you?"
        "I don't know," Caerau said. "I was sort of hoping you'd figure that one out. I've tried praying to the Goddess, to summon the Imaginary Knights...."
        "She can not hear your prayers from here."
        "Yeah, I know." Caerau flopped onto his cot like a rag doll. "I guess that's it, then. My brother has outwitted me."
        Shaelyn stepped forward. She knelt beside the bed and took her brother's hand. "Give me one kiss, dear brother, before we go. Something to remember me by."
        Caerau sat up straight. "Really? Okay, then." He leaned forward, cupped his sister's neck and head, and kissed her full on the lips.
        Shaelyn's eyes went wide. She pulled back. "What the..." she began.
        Her brother placed a finger to her lips. "Not a word, dear sister," he said. "You and Brennos must leave at once. But when you are free of this vile place, think of me."

***

Later, Another World

        "Why won't you sleep with me?"
        They were wandering the streets of Nerima again. It was amazing how massive this strange village was.
        Peht sighed. "My Lord, must we go over this again?" she said. "As I've told you, it would be perverse."
        "Perverse? But it is not perverse that you sleep with other girls?"
        "My private relationships are not your concern. May I remind you that you, the King of our fair land, has... shall we say... a far more sordid past, sexually speaking. And I would also add, your sister Shaelyn is not attracted to women."
        "I'm not Shaelyn!"
        "My point exactly," Peht said. "Now, time is of the essence. Let us not forget why we are here: to seek out suitable champions."
        "Okay," Caerau said. "But I'm still starving. I didn't get to eat any of that strange noodle soup...."
        "Oh, very well," Peht said. Suddenly she stopped and sniffed the air. "Here, this must be another eating establishment, though it is far too small to be an inn or tavern. Nor do I know what manner of strange food they may serve."
        "It smells wonderful," Caerau said. "I'll take my chances."
        "I will wait for you here, this time."
        Peht sat down on the side of the street with her back against the outside wall of the building. She closed her eyes, hoping to catch a few moments rest.
        "Pervert!" a woman screamed. Peht's eyes flew open. There was a metallic thud. Caerau flew out the front door and across the street, slammed into a stone wall, and collapsed into a heap.
        Peht went to inspect her companion.
        "Pretty girl," Caerau mumbled.
        Peht's eyes narrowed. "Fool! What did you do, talk lewdly to her? Fondle her, perhaps?"
        Her companion's eyes came into focus. "There's two in there," Caerau said, getting up and dusting off. "The girl is strangely dressed, but she's a powerful warrior if ever I saw one! And there's a young man, too, who spoke of training. He has a warrior's build -- I'm certain that both are excellent canidates."
        Peht's eyes lit up.
        "Ineed?" she said. "In that case...." Digging through her pack, she selected two appropriate avatar spells -- one male, one female.
        "Wait here," she said. "This should not take but a minute."
        Peht stepped into the restaurant. She was immediately confronted by a boy with long black hair, dressed in black tights and a short-sleeved wrap top of blue with white trim. A bandolier crossed his chest, filled with what looked like small metal cooking utensils. A much larger utensil was brandished in his hands like a sword.
        "Who are you?" the boy exclaimed.
        Wasting no time, Peht tossed her first avatar spell. As the blue explosion went off, she sensed another moving towards her from the back of the room. She tossed her second spell, which went off with another blue flash.
        The boy with the giant spatula collapsed to the ground. Peht inspected him briefly, then stepped over his body.
        Peht stared down at the second victim. He was dressed in yellow and black, with a bandana around his forehead. For one so young, his body was superbly muscled. He was unmistakably not female.
        "By the goddess!" she exclaimed. "What error is this? Caerau said there was a woman warrior in here?" She glanced back at the first boy. His face was quite smooth and delicate, now that she looked closer, and his hips were wider than one might expect for a boy.
        She knelt down and pulled the front of his shirt open.
        Her shirt open, as it turned out. The cook with the giant spatula was clearly a girl, although for reasons unknown her breasts were bound tightly with cloth strips.
        "Damnation!" Peht growled. "This is all wrong! How could I have made such a mistake?"
        Then she stood, and shrugged. "Well, what's done is done. It is, after all, only temporary. They will just have to live with it until they return to this world."
        She strode back out into the street. "Come, Caerau," she said. "I am not at all pleased at how this quest is unfolding, but we still have need of three more champions. Let us find them quickly, and be done with this world."
        "But I'm still hungry...."

***

Earlier, North of Castle Dimsdale

        When they were well away from the capital of Dimsdale and riding down the road that lead North to Cair Ashenglade, passing over hills of dark grass gilded with silver by the moonlight and by shadowy trees that reached gnarled fingers towards the stars, Shaelyn turned to Brennos Stoutoak and finally spoke.
        "I've got breasts!"
        "Yes. Most women do."
        "Can I touch them?"
        "When we are at Cair Ashenglade you may do what you like, I'm sure."
        "How did you do it?" she asked.
        The old druid raised an eyebrow. "How did I do what?" he replied.
        "You know," the girl replied. "This." She gestured down at herself. "How did you transfer me into my sister's body, and her into mine? I thought you couldn't cast spells inside my cell."
        "Oh, that," the druid said with a smile. "It was very simple, really. I cast the spell on Shaelyn long before we reached Dimsdale. All that remained was the trigger which set the spell in motion."
        "The kiss," she said.
        "Yes."
        She glanced down at herself again. "I would have preferred a male body."
        "Your sister was even less keen on being trapped inside yours," Brennos said. "But the spell works much better with blood kin. As you only have one brother and one sister, our choices were limited."
        "And I must remain in her body?"
        "For the time being, yes," the druid said. "It cannot be helped. It was necessary to get you out of your cell, and up to Cair Ashenglade, where you...."
        "Where I can pray to the goddess, and summon the Imaginary Knights," Caerau/Shaelyn said.
        "Precisely," the old druid replied.
        They rode on in silence for several minutes, and then the girl said, "Well, being a girl can't be so bad."
        Brennos nodded.
        "It might even be interesting," the girl added.
        "I suppose it might," the High Druid said.
        "Just one question," Caerau/Shaelyn asked. "Well, actually, two."
        "Yes?"
        "Are there any lesbians at Cair Ashenglade? And can you introduce me to them?"

***
Later, Another World

        Two warriors were squaring off in the street. A crowd had gathered about them. One girl in the crowd was placing odds and taking bets on the outcome.
        "I'll give fifty to one odds!" the girl called out. "Any takers? Come on! Oh, all right, sixty to one odds! That's worth a small wager, don't you think? He's going to win one eventually, you know. Think of the return on your investment when he does!"
        Caerau and Peht joined the crowd. Strangely enough, although one of the two warriors was clearly a well-trained swordsman, the other was an unarmed girl. Peht narrowed her eyes.
        "Nabiki!" the unarmed girl called out, "stop trying to make money on me! That's not why I'm doing this!"
        "An armed man against an unarmed woman?" Caerau scoffed. "She doesn't stand a chance."
        "Fair Akane!" the swordsman exclaimed, "If you defeat me, I will allow you to date me!"
        "Pay close attention to the girl's battle aura," Peht said. "She will not lose."
        The swordsman charged. His form was stiff and stylized -- Peht guessed that he was trained in a technique meant more for show than actual combat. But he was well-trained and still very dangerous, even with a wooden sword.
        And yet, in his headlong rush, he left himself wide open. Surely he knew better. Did he do so on purpose, then?
        The unarmed girl landed one powerful punch, and the swordsman flew high into the air. In fact -- Peht blinked in surprise -- he sailed high above the rooftops and landed many, many blocks away.
        "By the goddess!" Caerau exclaimed. "Never have I seen one so strong! And a girl yet!"
        "Aye," Peht replied. "But the boy with the sword is also quite skilled. I think we can use both."
        Carefully Peht produced her avatar spells and sorted through them. "This one for the girl," she said. "And... yes, this one for the swordsman. Here, you take that one and go find him."
        Caerau took the paper spell and nodded. "These two will make seven," he said.
        "Indeed," Peht replied. "And the one collecting bets will make eight."
        Caerau blinked in surprise. "Her? She is no warrior!"
        "You are correct, my Lord," Peht said. "But our group of champions will need a leader, will they not?"
        "Ah," Caerau replied. "That makes sense. Okay, then."
        As her companion sped off in the direction of the swordsman, Peht stepped forward. There was a crowd of perhaps a dozen were milling about. Some where congratulating the victorious girl, while several more were sullenly paying off their bets. Peht cleared her throat. The warrior girl looked up, and Peht tossed the spell at her.
        The rectangular paper struck the girl in the face. A moment later, there was a bright blue flash. The girl collapsed to the pavement, unconscious.
        For a moment, everyone froze. Then the crowd pushed back in fear, but the girl bookie jumped forward. "Akane!" she called out, and knelt to inspect the unconcious girl. Then she looked up at Peht, eyes full of anger. "All right! What have you done to my sister?" she demnded.
        Peht continued to move forward, still shuffling through her spells. "Have no fear," she said calmly. "It is only temporary. Their souls have been sent to another world, where they will help save my kingdom from its enemies. Once their geas is completed, they will return unharmed."
        "Excuse me? You expect me to believe a story like that?"
        "You need not accept it on faith," Peht said. "I will show you first hand."
        Another spell flew out. There was another flash of light, and the older girl collapsed onto her sister.
        Peht looked around at the others, who were watching her fearfully. "See to it that they are put to bed," she said. "It may be a few days before their spirits return -- I am told that time flows differently here than in my world, but I do not know the specifics. But they will be safe in the meantime -- that is part of the spell...."
        "Here you are!" The voice was familiar. Peht turned, and was not surprised to see the strange, gnome-like woman who ran the noodle restaurant. She wore a green robe and an angry expression. Improbably, she was balancing on her wooden staff, which was more than twice her height.
        On the woman's right was a man in loose brown clothing. He had long hair and a moustache. Next to him was a large creature that looked nothing so much as a black and white bear. It stood on its hind legs, and held up a sign with writing on it, which Peht couldn't read.
        On the gnome-woman's left were two more -- a young bespeckled man in loose dark clothing similar to the moustached man, and a young woman in a blouse, dress, and apron.
        "Now," the gnome-woman said, "you're going to explain to me exactly what you have done to Shampoo and Son-In-Law, and how it may be reversed."
        Peht sighed.
        "As I said before, I have temporarily transported their souls to my world. These eight are to become the Imaginairy Knights Dimsdale, who will save the Kingdom of Dimsdale. They will be given avatar bodies in our world, so that no permanent harm may befall them. Once they have completed their task, they will return to this world, completely unharmed."
        Murmurs swept through the crowd. "It's like Alice in Wonderland!" one voice whispered. "Or Magic Knights Rayearth!" another exclaimed. "Or the Wizard of Oz! Or...."
        The ghoul woman glared at Peht. She glanced down at the unconscious girls, then back at Peht
        "I've heard of such things," she said, "although never done precisely in this manner. But how can I trust you? Perhaps I will journey with you back to your world, so that I can verify this myself."
        "Oh, but I can only transport eight knights!" Peht said. "Plus Caerau and I, of course. That's all the legends specify, and all that the spells are set for. I don't know what might happen if I violated the spell's parameters!"
        Suddenly, Peht became aware of the sounds of yelling voices and pounding feet. The sound was growing louder, as if a mob were bearing down on them.
        Pehr turned to face the sound. A voice cried out, "What a haul! What a haul!" Something slammed into her face and rebounded into the air. She heard a gleeful cackle as she fell backwards to the pavement. Her spells flew up into the air, and then she was surrounded by a cloud of dust as approximately twenty young girls ran over her.
        For a moment, the envoy from Cair Ashenglade stared up at the blue sky in stunned silence. Then one of her paper spells drifted down out of the sky and landed on her forehead. There was a flash of blue light, and Peht knew no more.

***
Earlier, Cair Ashenglade

        In the North lay Cair Ashenglade, the fortress of the druidic council. As the first light of dawn broke from the East, it struck the top of the highest tower. Several figures clad in druidic robes were kneeling there, as if to greet the morning sun.
        The tallest of them blinked at the bright light, then stood. "That should be more than enough, Caerau," Brennos said. "Or I should say, Lady Shaelyn. Your prayers will be answered soon enough."
        The young girl who appeared to be Princess Shaelyn stood and looked about. "I sort of thought they'd just appear on their own," she said.
        "In time, they probably would," Brennos replied. "I've already explained to you why we can't just wait. It's important to bring them here as soon as possible, and in a manner which provides the least risk to them. Mikau? Peht? Are you two ready?"
        Two young druids stepped forward, one a boy with a thick mop of brown hair, the other a pale girl with long hair so blonde it was nearly white. "Yes, my Lord?" they said in unison.
        "Why can't I be the one to go?" Caerau/Shaelyn asked.
        "Because, Lady Shaelyn," Peht said, "it's very dangerous."
        The young druidess paced across the stone floor. "I'm not really Shaelyn, you know. I'm Caerau."
        "Yes I know, your majesty, but I can hardly call you King Caerau at the moment, can I? For the time being you are Lady Shaelyn, or Princess Shaelyn if you prefer. Here at Cair Ashenglade she preferred to be called Lady Shaelyn, to sort of fit in with the other students. In any case, that's the whole point, isn't it? How can we allow the King of the land to do anything so dangerous?"
        Caerau stopped pacing and stared at Peht's counterpart. The boy Mikau was glaring at Caerau with undisguised hatred.
        "What's with you?" Caerau asked.
        "Nothing," Mikau said. "It just galls me that I should have aid one such as you."
        "One such as me? What did I ever do to you?"
        "Isn't being in Shaelyn's body enough? It's perverse!"
        Caerau laughed. "Everything's perverse these days! Look, I'd be happy to go back to my own body if that were possible, but it isn't. So let's just make the best of things and try to get along." She held out her hand hopefully, but Mikau made no move to grasp it.
        "Don't mind him," Peht said. "His anger for you has deeper reasons as well."
        "Oh?"
        "Your proposed marriage of Shaelyn to the Prince of Undercairn, for one."
        Caerau raised an eyebrow. "And? A union of our two kingdoms would end years of violence and bloodshed. What's wrong with that?"
        "Because!" Mikau growled. "You never considered your sisters feelings at all!"
        "But she's of royal blood. She knows what responsibilities come of that."
        "He loves her, you know," Peht said.
        "Ah," Caerau said, comrehension dawning in her face. "But a commoner, even a druidic disciple, cannot marry royalty."
        Before Mikau could utter a retort, Brennos held up his hands. "Please, if we could leave off the petty arguing. We must cast the world gate spell."
        "I still want to go," Caerau said. "I never get to do anything!"
        "You have done the most important thing," Brennos said. "Your prayers will open the way to the world of the Imaginary Knights. The time of our darkest hour has arrived. The Imaginairy Knights have been summoned. All that is left is for Mikau and Peht to cross over, and bring them here."
        The elder druid glanced at his two apprentice druids. "You know what must be done."
        Peht nodded. "Aye, Elder," she said. "First, we must research the heros of this other world. Then we must locate the Imaginary Knights, match them with likely heros, and cast the spell of the Avatar along with the spell of Transference."
        "That's right."
        "we shall do our best, my Lord."
        "Once you have gathered the Imaginairy Knights, bring them before this council at Cair Ashenglade. Then we shall determine what must be done next."
        "What's with this spell of the avatar?" Shaelyn asked.
        "An idea of mine," Brennos replied. "Under normal circumstances, the Imaginary Knights would be transported bodily to our world. They face dangers on our behalf using their own skills and risking their very lives in the process."
        "Yeah, so?"
        "They will most likely be young, school-aged children," Brennos said. "You realize that, do you not?"
        "They will?" Shaelyn said.
        "Yes. It is the nature of this type of magic. When summoning saviors from another world, school-aged chidren are best. Young girls in particular."
        "But... but that's preposterous! How can the Imaginary Knights be a bunch of girls? Mind you," Caerau added, "I'm not complaining."
        The elder shrugged. "As I said, it is the nature of this type of magic. Usually they discover hidden powers and develop them in the days and weeks after arriving, but we really don't have the time for that. And what if one of them dies? No, I have a better plan. By transfering just their spirits, and providing them with avatar bodies of the heroes of their world, I accomplish three things: One, spiritual transference is much more easily accomplished; Two, they arrive with the abilities of the heroes they appear to be, and Three, if one of them is killed, their spirit will be drawn back to their real body in their own world, and no lasting harm is done to them."
        "And all of this is going to work?"
        "Of course."
        Caerau eyed the old druid levelly. "You've summoned saviors from another dimension before, have you?"
        "Well, not as such...."
        "Thought not," Caerau said. "But anyway, why young girls? Is it because of their innocence, and the strength of their faith and belief?"
        "Perhaps," the elder said. "Or maybe the gods just like to make things difficult for us."
        "Well," Caerau said, "I hope they're all babes. That would be great, I'd love to be rescued by a group of otherworld babes."
        "They may not all be female," Brennos said, "although that is, I admit, the most common result."
        The former king shrugged. "Well, that's okay, too. As long as I'm in this body, I might as well have fun with the boys as well."
        Mikau growled. "Does your perversion know no bounds?"
        Caerau looked thoughtful.
        "I'm not too interested in animals..." she offered. "Although once, the goddess of nature came to me as a..."
        "I do not want to know," Mikau said hastily.

***
Later, Another World

        Confused, Caerau took in the scene before her.
        There were many more unconscious bodies than she'd expected to find. Aside from the two girls that they'd targeted, and the young swordsman that he'd drug back to the scene of the fight, there were at least eight others lying in the street. One of them was Peht herself.
        With a sinking feeling, Caerau realized that Peht's spirit had probably been transported back home without her body. In fact, she would probably recieve an avatar body, just like the eight Dimsdale Knights. And just like seven other people who were not meant to be Dimsdale Knights.
        This was bad. This was very bad. Brennos Stoutoak would be furious.
        The worst part, Caerau realized, was that she wasn't even certain she could get back. While the spell of return was easy enough, it was intended to draw back two physical bodies -- hers and Peht's. But if Peht's spirit had been sent back as one of the Imaginairy Knights, then it would return to this world when their quest was completed -- or when her avatar body was slain, at least.
        In either case, transporting Peht's soulless body back to their world might be a grave mistake, given the current circumstances.
        But Caerau was fairly certain that the spell of return wouldn't work properly if there weren't two people returning.
        "It's quite a pickle, isn't it?"
        Caerau glanced down. A small, balding man was sitting on the curbside smoking a pipe. He looked somewhat gnome-like, just like the woman from the noodle restaurant (who was currently lying unconscious nearby). Caerau blinked at this strange man. For his part, the man sat calmly, eyes closed, and slowly blew a series of smoke circles. Finally he dumped the ashes out of his pipe, slipped it beneath his clothing, and fixed Caerau with a knowing stare.
        "Don't tell me, let me guess," the old man said. "You and your friend came here from another world. Right?"
        Caerau nodded.
        "And you sent the souls of all these people to your own world, I take it."
        Caerau nodded again.
        "Right. I can see that their bodies are soulless."
        "There weren't supposed to be this many," Caerau said. "Only eight at most."
        "Yes, well, accidents happen," the old man said. "So now, you need two people to return to your world properly, right? That's how the spell works, but your friend here got caught in one of her own spells, and you don't want to move her body from this world. Could be messy, if her soul returned to this world later. Right?"
        Caerau nodded slowly. "How did you know?"
        "Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" the old man asked. "To someone like me, anyway." He leapt to his feet. "I've never been one to turn down a damsel in distress, and anyway, I always thought it'd be fun to visit another world." As Caerau contined to stare at him, the man added, "Well? What are we waiting for? Let's get a move on, toots! I don't have all day, you know!"

***
Earlier, Cair Ashenglade

        The spell of summoning, transfer, Peht jumps through gate, Caerau knocks Mikau aside and jumps through.


        Blue strands swirled about a deep black center. It was a beautiful mid-morning day, without a trace of wind, and the sun shown down warm and bright on Cair Ashenglade, promising a much hotter afternoon. But atop the tallest tower of the druidic castle a storm was brewing. The wind howled and threatened to shred the robes of Brennos Stoutoak and his three young accomplices.
        A whirlpool of blackest night spun in the air just in front of Brennos. It was like a wound in the fabric of the world itself, as if a dagger had pierced the air before them and cut through to the other side -- of what, they weren't sure. Stars could be seen in the heart of the swirling blackness. Inky night seemed to bleed from the edges of the hole.
        Though he shouted the spell in a deep, booming voice, his words could barely be heard over the din. But there was no mistaking when he clapped his hands together, finishing the spell, and then turned and gestured for Mikau and Peht to leap into the void.
        With barely a moment's hesitation, Peht lept. She was swept into the maelstrom, vanishing instantly.
        Mikau braced for his own leap, but something slammed into his head. As he collapsed onto the stone roof of the tower, the girl who was physically Shaelyn, Princess of the Realm, but mentally was her brother King Caerau, stepped forward.
        "Sweet dreams," Caearau said. "Don't wait up for me!"
        And she lept into the swirling portal, vanishing just as Peht had.
        The portal shrank, like an iris closing. With a soft "pop" it vanished completely. The wind faded away, leaving Brennos and Mikau alone atop the tower.
        Mikau groaned and sat up. He put a hand to his head. "What the...?" he began, then looked about. "My Lord? The portal... I was about to jump...."
        "Caerau went in your place," the elder druid said curtly. He leaned heavily on his staff, seemingly much older than he had looked only a half hour earlier. Clearly, the casting of such a massive spell had taken it's toll on him.
        "Caerau?" Mikau said. He stoop up. "But I was supposed to go... not that fool of a King...."
        "Aye." Brennos sighed. "Well, he said, "What's done is done, and cannot be undone." He turned headed for the stairs, muttering under his breath, "I only hope that fool doesn't fuck everything up."



***